As Jackie Wilson once said "to be loved, oh darling what a feeling - to be loved." I fundamentally believe that one of the main reasons, if not the main reason that we decided to reincarnate on earth is to experience love. To experience the energy we know so well from our spirit homes or the other side, you see love is the base frequency of the spirit realm, when we are in spirit we are in love, however, we are not fully experiencing it, we do not have a body, we can only experience the frequency of love, we cannot physically act on it. I believe that we have come to earth for the total human experience of real, tangible, physical love. To experience the overwhelming power of falling in love with another person, to experience the unconditional and supporting love of family, to experience the earth shattering, purpose giving love of birthing/raising a child, to experience love in community, in the collective, in ourselves, in nature, to experience the expansive love we find in art, music, books, sports, hobbies etc. We are here for the total human experience of real, tangible, physical love. Let me emphasise the TOTAL human experience of love, because my darling we are not just here for the light & bright side of love, we are also here for the heartbreak, the pain, the grief, the anger, the loss of love. We are here to have love and to lose it, so that we are reminded of just how much purpose love gives us in life and after. It may pale in comparison to our narratives of career, success and power, however, it is only when we have experienced love and have lost love that we realise, love really is all we have.
Now this drive and desire for love can often leave you in some sticky situations. For example, i tried my hand at love magick last week and literally had to stop myself and my spells in their tracks when the fog lifted, and i realised what i was doing. Now before i go any further, i was not partaking in non-dominant, objective light love magick, this type of love magick is fine to dabble in, it manipulates no one's free will and often results in no karmic debt or consequence so if you want to do a cute little attraction spell, do not let this essay scare you off, you'll be fine. I however, was practicing dominant, dark love magick with a specific target... now don't get me wrong, working with dark magick or dark entities is a sure fire way to get exactly what you want, when you want it but it always comes with a cost and usually not a very pleasant one. On top of the karmic debt this type of magick racks up, the love you receive from this type of spell work is not the love you are seeking. You see, your target is not actually in love with you, they are under your spell, free will completely manipulated and energetically bound to you. This never works out well, as your target will eventually figure out they are in some type of forced situation, a slave to your heart if you will and this can result in you being murdered, as they feel there is no other way to escape you or the situation you have energetically imprisoned them to. What's even worse is maybe you do the spell, it works and then you realise, that your target isn't as great as you thought they were, you don't want to be with them, you end the relationship and then they murder you anyway - BIG "If i can't have you, no one can have you" energy. Now you may be sitting there asking yourself "Mackinley, if you know all this, then why did you practice dark love magick?" and the answer to that question is - love can make you fucking insane. It is our most expansive emotion, our driving force in life and our deepest, most innate desire - to love, to be loved and to be in love.
Love is our greatest teacher, it is through love that we are given our greatest lessons and sometimes when love is trying to teach us a lesson, we can latch to the answer or outcome that we want, doing everything in our power to make it the truth, to make it a reality. We can force ourselves to change for love, we can move out of alignment for love, we can undermine our morals and ethics for love, we can swim an ocean of red flags for love. When love is not easy or when love comes with complications, anger, arguments or toxicity, we are more often than not being handed a mirror by love, asking us to look within and to see what wounds, traumas or subconscious beliefs are being reflected through love. We are being asked to dive deep into our shadow and see how our external relationships with others are a direct reflection of our internal relationship with self. You see love is so bright that it not only lights up our life but it illuminates our shadow too, creating the perfect arena for growth through shadow work... we would do anything for love....but shadow work... we wont don't that.
Lyrical puns aside, love and how we accept love is the best indication of our own self worth. When we let those we love treat us poorly, without respect, without boundaries or without care, we are showing the universe/god/our higher self/spirit that we believe we deserve to be treated that way. Now, i hate to quote Perks of Being a Wallflower in 2024 but we truly "accept the love we think we deserve." I read this book when i was about 14 years old and it wasn't until 12 years later that that quote made sense to me. The universe will often test our self worth through love, if we are seeking to create miracles in our life, manifest our dreams, to attract all of our desires, the universe will often send a partner before it sends its blessings as a way of testing you. Now, if that partner is disrespecting you, playing you or messing you around and you are accepting this as sufficient or satisfactory treatment, the universe will note this as what you desire in life, it will note that you are happy with this low vibrational energy and it will keep you there, ensuring that all those miracles your trying to manifest will end up in misery, until you wake up one day and realise you're worth so much more than this.
Now, this works in other ways too, the universe might send you a partner who is caring, kind, who only wants the best for you, who loves you without measure, without agenda, without limits and depending on how you view yourself or what you're deserving of, you will either accept or reject this partner. If you reject this partner you are telling the universe i am not ready for blessings and i will run from them or be suspicious of them if you give them to me, you are telling the universe that you are not worthy of high vibrational love and the universe then applies that energy to the rest of your life, again, swiping those blessings out from under you.
Another option is that, you're in a relationship that is no longer serving you, it has run it's course and you're seeking to create change in your life, you're seeking a love or a life that may different, a new person, a new environment, a new lesson or a new blessings, however, you're not leaving your current situation. This is where the universe starts to have some fun, because as soon as you become self aware to the fact that you don't want this love anymore (shadow work) the universe will in essence start cycling arguments, trauma, heartbreak, hatred anything to try and push you out of that relationship. The universe is incredibly literal and when we have decided on a subconscious or soul level that we no longer want to be in our current situation, the universe will action that into the conscious physical world and continue to action it until you physically leave the situation, which is why so many relationships end so badly over such a prolonged period of time, because the universe is listening to our soul and trying to remove us from what we no longer desire - as we refuse to remove ourselves. Now this last example moves out of the arena of relationships, this is very much applied to everything in life, e.g. if you have always dreamed of running your own business but never take the leap or trust that you are capable of doing so, keeping yourself in 9-5 job or working for other people. The universe will ensure that something bad happens at all those jobs so that you cannot work there anymore, only letting up when you finally have had enough of the bullshit and start your own business. The universe is listening to your soul, so it doesn't matter what action you take to silence your spirit or what you say to minimise your dreams, the universe can always hear you and is listening, working and responding to the whispers of your heart.
Now, those are just three examples, love is incredibly personal and convoluted, it's meant to be, it's meant to be as niche of an experience as it is a universal one. It's meant to be our greatest teacher, our marker of self worth and most importantly is meant to stem from ourselves, before it is given to us through others. We can only love others as much as we love ourselves, we can only accept love as much as we accept our selves, we can only receive as much love as we pour into ourselves and we can only give as much love as we give ourselves. Love is not always easy, it is not always fair, it is not always kind but it is our most powerful indicator of who we are, who we've been and who we want to be, no one does karma quite like love does karma, both good and bad.
Next week's essay will get into the ins and outs of soul mates, karmic partners and twin flames, bringing a whole new element of spiritual ties and contracts to the conversation which really amp up the whole "love is a teacher" conversation, because not only are we looking at the love experienced in this life but past lives, spiritual lives and the karmic debt of love that follows us throughout all our incarnations.
So, rather than a conclusion to this essay, i will leave you with a "to be continued..." think about it, digest it and get ready for next week's esoteric info bombshells.
Love You
Mama Mackinley